Sürüş artık geçmişte kaldı

bu hafta üçüncü kez benzin pompasının yanlış tarafına yanaşmaktır. • Sebepsiz yanıp sönen motor arıza lambası ve ustanın “bu sebepsizliğin bedeli bin lira” demesini duymaktır. • Bel ağrılarıdır. Boyun tutulmalarıdır. Kalçalardaki dayanılmaz uyuşmadır. • 0'dan 100'e 6,4 saniyede çıkan bir araba alıp sonraki 30 dakika boyunca saatte 5 kilometre hızla sürünmektir. • Bir göçüktür. Bir çiziktir. Tampon tampona, tampona, güm güm. • Ön camındaki güvercin pisliğini silmektir. • Cam suyu bitince ön camındaki güvercin pisliğini bulaştırmaktır. • Güvercinlerin sürü hâlinde hareket ettiğini zor yoldan öğrenmektir. • Trafik canavarlığıdır. Küfürlerdir. Kendi icat edene kadar var olduğunu bile bilmediğin ağza alınmayacak sözlerdir. • Önünü kesen o zımbırtı zırtapoz herife bağırıp sonra onun aslında torununu futbol antrenmanına götüren tatlı bir dede olduğunu fark etmektir. • Arka koltuktan sana el sallayan babaanneyi görüp kocasına zırtapoz dediğin için kötü hissetmektir. • Tuvalete gerçekten gitmen gerekirken park yeri bulmak için etrafta dönüp durmaktır. • Arkanda üç araba ve seni TikTok'ta viral yapmaya hazır bir grup seyirciyle dar bir köşeye paralel park etmeye çalışmaktır — tam da tuvalete gerçekten, gerçekten gitmen gerekirken. • Ev anahtarlarını şoför koltuğuyla el freni arasındaki o lanet boşluğa düşürüp, bir deli kararlılığıyla onları çekip çıkarmaya çalışırken omzunu çıkarmaktır — çünkü kesinlikle, mutlaka tuvaleteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gitmen gerekiyorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr